I am not the biggest, baddest dog on the block nor do I have the most intimidating bark; it's more like a yipping screech, and embarrassingly more like that of a goat on my weak, shaky days. But I like to show off my ability to get done whatever others don't want to do and what is said I cannot do. Never convinced that I couldn't overcome crummy health by sheer will power until now, I have found much satisfaction going above and beyond what would be considered healthy accomplishments by healthier peers. But now, this bulldog has run into a brick wall over or around which my short legs cannot force my expanding, weakening body. So now I stop and strategize my path. I am a confused, frustrated, middle-aged runner from God's grace. I am passionate about serving God but have finally realized that my devotion to Him has always taken a backseat to my human desire to be successful apart from God. I'm not intentionally defiant but more like a kid seeking my parent's recognition and approval. Of course, I know better than to seek a life apart from God, apart from the grace that saved me through Jesus Christ's sacrifice. It's amazing what we learn when we finally submit to God and welcome His purification into our hearts and lives.